2015

three years. and maybe this time i can commit to this blog more often than i have :}

february is such a sad short month and i always feel as if im running out of time. but on another note, since my last post ( 3 years ago ) obviously things have changed. But lets focus on one most recent change im still trying to grasp. I don't think it's a woman thing, or maybe it is .. and for the record im only documenting this here right now to reflect upon who I was three years from now..ha.

- lets get to it. i guess around the holidays a time where indulgence is key, i started to notice change in me. My taste for things, my view on things, my body, my age.. At almost 30 my brother and sister are living a healthy life and im in my early 20's and i clearly dont give a fuck. or didnt... all that food during the holidays and since then have become dull to me, nothing but shit in the toilet the next day. But dont get me wrong i love food( and my moms and sisters holiday food). In-n-Out, pizza, chocolate, chicken.. the whole 9. So i dont know when this happened or if it was something certain, but i remember vaguely  thinking AND since then just thinking about how GROSS some shit is.. i mean yea it's not like this NEVER crossed my mind but i guess i just feel i should FEEL a certain way. Everyone is so obsessed with how they look these days, but that's not my argument.I eat this delicious food and most of the time it fulfills me for the moment and makes me feel shitty for the long run.

MY point in all this is that im really not trying to be vegan, or gluten free, or fat free..but natural. These past few months I've been really curious about that world. It got me thinking because i hate pork, i only like beef as steak and a cheeseburger ( which of these i dont have often) .. and chicken has became slimy to me. With that, it had me thinking about my body. For awhile i was just like " okay ill eat better, become a pescetarian, cut out red meat " but that's just really ignorant of me. Im only controlling like 50% of what i consume.. so it doesn't really count. Because the chemicals that made my panda express are most likely in my moisturizer..so im not really eliminating anything.

SO. im on this new found journey. Cold feet but my ive stepped in the water. 100% of the makeup I use, the hair products, the hygiene products, moisturizer, just everything I use on a daily basis is not good for me. As well as the food that I eat. Im on this " natural inside, natural outside " mindset . How can i purchase cruelty free makeup, but yet consume those sad animals anyway. Im pretty sure this will be hard, im pretty sure ill have in-n-out next week. I also have some makeup and other beauty related products that will last me another 6 months. But as of today, Ive started research on how to do this correctly. And once i run out of groceries, or hit pan with my makeup best believe they will be replaced  ( possibly documented here ) by something much more natural and healthier. Makeup and Food is my staple in life. I can atleast let it be the better of me than let it get the "best of me".  Now i know as far as research goes there will be products out there i find as my holy grail, or food out there that i just find as comforting. But i am 100% sure of this change. For me, for the future me, and for my health. Quote me on that. .. but it won't be tomorrow, it won't be in a few weeks but in a matter of months or even years. I want to live that organic, natural, paraben free, healthy lifestyle.
namaste .. :}